April 12th, 2015 It has been three years since the passing of my dear husband Robert, to lung cancer, and 4 years since the passing of our son, Braden. You would think time would have a softening effect on the harsh recollection of lost loved ones. Somehow I have found this last year to be the most challenging and these last few months, increasingly painful. I hear that grief is not a direct line event but a journey of increasing and decreasing pain with no indication of when to expect either. Definitely know what that’s like!
For some reason I have had more trouble dealing with Bob’s death and I suppose that is because things come up when they come up. It’s one of those uncontrollable things. People always ask me when I will start dating again. That makes me think of a conversation Bob and I would frequently have. He would say, “Tossee, I want you to move on and find someone else if I’m no longer here.” I would always retort, “There’s no way I will do that and besides, you are here with me so stop saying stuff like that.”
Bob would then calmly say, “Honey you have to promise me you will and when you do, make sure he treats you as well as I did.” I haven’t had the heart to think about moving on, although one day I may do so. You left a big hole Bob Kennedy. You are one of a kind and not easy to replace.
So now, with the passing of time and the desire to mark this anniversary of loss, I will walk the field where Bob’s Daffodils await the warming sun, look at photos, particularly the ones we took when we went to Paris together - our last trip together, have family around me and remember the rich colour of life I was blessed to experience thanks to Bob.
Remembering you and Brady, Tosca