How a tiny 5-pound person can take up so much time and piss people off on your social media channels.
For those of you who have been following along, you may be aware that I have recently become a grandmother. You may also have noticed, I have been MIA, MOL (more or less) on social media.
What happened? When our 5 pounds of joy arrived in the form of Miss Grayson Charley Alexandra, no one knew how much time such a small person would require. But you get reminded real fast. Do you remember the countless hours spent rocking and soothing such a tiny new person? The sleepless nights burping and cuddling? And I am only the grandmother!
The birth was complicated. For the first few weeks, there were many hospital and doctor visits. Those, combined with the time intensive care of a newborn, vacuumed up a lot of time. I was lucky enough to have been part of the chaos and joy of those early weeks. Grayson will only be this small once in her life. It is a great privilege to bear witness. As Grayson’s Oma.
Being a grandmother was something I had to learn. My heart was flooded with love the moment I first held my granddaughter in my arms. But I admit, I struggled with knowing how much to step in and how much to step back. I found myself waiting to be invited. Yet how could I make that request of brand new parents who had been hit by the most beautiful tsunami that is childbirth, but tsunami nonetheless?
Frequently I wavered between overwhelming love for that baby, so big that I wept, and a heart bursting with pride over watching my own daughter becoming a mother. These experiences are the fabric of life, new and old. In time, I trusted my instincts. I let my heart guide me towards loving that baby and loving my daughter and her husband, enough to quiet my eagerness and let them figure out the gentle balance of love needed to raise their child.
I love my new role. I even get up and do the night shifts after baby has been fed. I am getting used to doing with less sleep. I am getting used to multi-tasking. I am getting used to the new car seat, super sassy stroller, the bassinet, and the MammaRoo. (Huh??) Why does everything feel so different? I had three babies of my own and I have adopted also. I often find myself saying, “Wow! I wish I had that when my girls were infants.” I’m on a learning curve here.
Throughout all of this, I have also moved, again. This would be the third time this year, and this is just for me! Some social media comments probed me about the frequency of moving house. The reason? I downsized and I like it. A lot. But in the last several weeks, I may only have slept there 6 nights. I keep a small suitcase packed and ready to go when I get the call, “please mom can you come and help?” My house can wait. Some things are far more important.
I never want to feel regret that I wasn’t there for my daughter. Being reminded of the tiny details that are easily missed but that keep us anchored to what is important in life, is another lesson I have learned from our new baby. Like that time when she smiled (it wasn’t gas) for the first time, and I was there to witness it. Moments become memories, become a life. I can’t miss out on that.
This is not to say that I don’t care about any of my followers. I love you all. I do. However I realize I can do a better job of showing you that love.
I hope I can be forgiven for my hiatus. It is not intentional. It is purely incidental. I am grandmothering at the moment and while I am rocking and burping Baby G, I am planning and writing. Writing what? Books. Programs. Blogs. I haven’t gone away. But I am a bit distracted.
If some of you are pissed off by the quiet, rest assured, I rarely stay down for long. You are always on my mind. After all, my motivation in life is to serve my fellow man to the best of my ability in all I do.
Tonight as I write a few words in my journal, one hand on my pen and the other on the cradle, I am thinking of the blessing of health that new life is. I am deeply inspired to dig deeper and do more. When I have soothed Grayson’s little round head, moved to my core at her perfection, I have been touched to bring a greater intensity to my work.
Eat Clean®. Train like you’ve never trained before. Love deeply. Forgive. Be strong and be weak. But be exactly who you are because, in the words of my favourite female self-help guru, Marie Forleo, “the world needs that special gift that only you have.”
PS. I am always listening.
PSS. Still here!
PSSS. Why aren’t you writing your comments? Tell me about a time when you were distracted and then re-inspired? I have to hear from you!!
Congratulations! You’ve inspired me for years., but I still struggle with what to do in the gym. I have easy access to one but I am lost on where to go after I pick up the weights. Any suggestions?
Your daughter is very lucky to have you as a Mom! Congratulations on becoming a Grandmother! Enjoy every moment of it. As you know, babies grow up quickly, and it is so important to take time for yourself and your family. Kiss that baby, rock her, burp her, sing to her, read to her,…..savour every moment of being her Oma and watching your daughter blossom into a mother. Work can wait! You have taught us to take time for ourselves….we must now be patient and respect the fact that you are exactly where you need to be right now – with your family.
I have been distracted many times in my life, most recently over the past 16 months as we deal with a health issue with one of our children. It has forced me to slow down, re-prioritize my life and remember that my family and myself come first. Inspiration will come when it is ready. Right now is the time to do some learning and healing. 🙂 Enjoy that sweet baby Oma!
Never apologize for being there for family. We had our own baby boy a year ago and it truly was a tsunami!
I’m also a first time grandma. My lovie is 6 weeks old now. I can totally relate. Congratulations Oma!
Hi Tosca! I just wanted to say a big CONGRATS on becoming a grandma! Grayson is absolutely precious, and we really can’t wait to meet her at Christmas (and for Rach and Mat and Gray to meet our little Aiden!). Becoming a new mom to our little guy has absolutely distracted me from my business too, and finding time between diapers, nursing, playing and sleep deprivation it’s been quite the challenge (sometimes overwhelmingly so) to pick things up and get that work done. I’ve definitely been re-inspired by following people like Rach and other mompreneurs out there who are busy raising a family and putting out the amazing work they do. I’ve learned that you really need to create a new routine, one that is REALISTIC and without too many giant expectations, because that little person is little only once. The work will get done, eventually, and as we all figure out these new roles, the space will be made to let the creative energy flow and for that amazing work to be shared. Thanks for your thoughts, and for all the inspiration over the years. You are truly an amazing mentor! xo – Crystal
Congratulations Tosca to your family! What a special time ! And good for you for knowing what you need, what is important and taking that time to do what is important for you and your family. Those that matter dont mind and those that mind don’t matter – in my humble opinion – you give so much, so awsome you are taking this time to cherish family – YAY YAY YAY
What a shame if people are upset. Congratulations on your granddaughter. She’s beautiful!
I loved this Blog. It’s about the balance Tosca. As much as you have been here for all of us, sharing, teaching and nurturing your brand, we are also here for you. I loved your final paragraph. So true.